Hi Everyone!
This is a sensitive topic for me. And honestly it is just a sensitive topic in general. My parents were divorced when I was 17 years old. It was a rough reality for me to embrace but soon coped successfully with it. Within 6 months of my parents divorce one of my best friends in High School also had her parents divorce. Divorce is something that just breaks my heart. On my mission I knew several families that the parents were divorced. While I understand that divorce is sometimes appropriate, I believe that too many divorces are happening out of sheer not trying hard enough.
This evening I had the chance to listen to General Priesthood Session for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. In it there were wonderful inspirational talks about needing to try harder to cherishing your spouse. President Uchtdorf, a member of the 1st Presidency of the Church said this, "A good marriage is built brick by brick, day by day". He also said this, "Every family needs saving." These words struck me deep. As members of the Priesthood we were taught that if you want to find the good things in life you will, you will also find the bad things if that is what you are looking for. The point was that too many people are not looking for the good things in their marriage. Wanting to "trade in for the newest thing, finding that their spouse is not young enough, smart enough, fun enough." This mindset is poison to marriages. If you want to make it work you will. Simply put. The Lord Jesus Christ has taught us to give it our best and his grace will make up for the rest. A marriage that is centered around Christ will be successful. That is one thing I am sure. After hearing these wise words I came home to my wife and just wanted her to know that I loved her so dearly. She truly is the love of my life, I want her to know that I will always look for the Good in her and our Marriage. I hope some of you find a sense of drive to push forward and make these good things in life good!
Saturday, April 2, 2016
Parenting
Hi Everyone!
I often wonder how I am going to raise my children with my wife. Sometimes it frightens me but many a times it brings me excitement and that desire to connect with my children and guide them throughout their life. While my parents parenting styles were not perfect they were perfect for who I am. Now that I am an adult I look back often with gratitude in my heart for how my parents raised me.
My parents like I said were not perfect but they always let me know how much they loved me. Now I could go on and on about each thing my parents did to parent me, but what I am going to boil it down to this: Loving unconditionally. As my parents did this it created a strong trust between both my mom and my dad. The other thing it created was mutual respect. My father would tell me often, "I love you unconditionally". He would always emphasize the unconditionally part. Because he did this I knew that whatever I did I knew he would love me regardless. This fueled me to want to be a good son for both my mom and dad.
In this day and age that is one thing I want to do for my kids. They will know that their father loves them, they will also know that I am their parent and that even if they do not like something it does not mean that I do not love them. Being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints I heard some great council that I will have to raise my children differently than my parents raised me. I was also told that it is not impossible. Active parenting is the cure to having successful families. Successful does not mean flawless, it means its achieving its purpose in raising future families and members of society.
Saturday, March 19, 2016
$Finances!$
Hey Everyone!!
This is such a fun topic. Finances can be stressful and sometimes I wonder why does such a thing even exist? It would make my life so much easier if we didn't have to worry about finances.
On my LDS mission my companion and I began teaching a man named Arsenio, he was a very smart man when it came to finances and about how to be successful in life. One thing he said that will forever stick with me is this, "Your not poor, your broke. Poor is a mindset and being broke is only temporary". He went on to tell my companion and I that we can be whatever we want to be! He said things that just made me want to stand up and cheer. Finances are important in life. They teach us great things such as being disciplined and responsible. We however choose how we accept these teachings. Sometimes we don't accept them very well and have to learn the hard way.
When your single finances aren't so hard because you only have to worry about yourself but when you get married there is now 2 people in the equation. In my head sometimes I wonder "How are we ever going to make things work money-wise?", we have so much to take care of.
One principle that always brings me back down to feeling secure again is the Lords principle of tithing. For those who do not know what this is, It is when you give back to the Lord 1/10th of your income where he uses it to build up his kingdom here on earth. As a kid I found this principle harder to follow because I was selfish and only wanted to spend my money and stuff I didn't need however, the Lord makes us a promise in the Bible. In Malachi 3:10 the Lord teaches this "Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of Hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it."
Through this simple financial principle my wife and I have always been able to make ends meet. The Lord knows how hard it is for us to just give up our money that we work so hard for, but is he not the one that has blessed us with everything we have in life? The Lord will never let you go without when you show him you love him by keeping his commandments. I hope some of you found this uplifting:)
This is such a fun topic. Finances can be stressful and sometimes I wonder why does such a thing even exist? It would make my life so much easier if we didn't have to worry about finances.
On my LDS mission my companion and I began teaching a man named Arsenio, he was a very smart man when it came to finances and about how to be successful in life. One thing he said that will forever stick with me is this, "Your not poor, your broke. Poor is a mindset and being broke is only temporary". He went on to tell my companion and I that we can be whatever we want to be! He said things that just made me want to stand up and cheer. Finances are important in life. They teach us great things such as being disciplined and responsible. We however choose how we accept these teachings. Sometimes we don't accept them very well and have to learn the hard way.
When your single finances aren't so hard because you only have to worry about yourself but when you get married there is now 2 people in the equation. In my head sometimes I wonder "How are we ever going to make things work money-wise?", we have so much to take care of.
One principle that always brings me back down to feeling secure again is the Lords principle of tithing. For those who do not know what this is, It is when you give back to the Lord 1/10th of your income where he uses it to build up his kingdom here on earth. As a kid I found this principle harder to follow because I was selfish and only wanted to spend my money and stuff I didn't need however, the Lord makes us a promise in the Bible. In Malachi 3:10 the Lord teaches this "Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of Hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it."
Through this simple financial principle my wife and I have always been able to make ends meet. The Lord knows how hard it is for us to just give up our money that we work so hard for, but is he not the one that has blessed us with everything we have in life? The Lord will never let you go without when you show him you love him by keeping his commandments. I hope some of you found this uplifting:)
Communication
Hi Everyone!
Have you ever wondered what life would be like if we could not communicate with each other? If we did not know how or understood what it meant? Would it be frustrating to you? What if you were the only one who could not communicate with others? Some of these questions I have found myself wondering about and wondering how well I would do. I came to the conclusion that I would not do so well.
Have you ever wondered what life would be like if we could not communicate with each other? If we did not know how or understood what it meant? Would it be frustrating to you? What if you were the only one who could not communicate with others? Some of these questions I have found myself wondering about and wondering how well I would do. I came to the conclusion that I would not do so well.
Communication is beyond invaluable. However it is a skill and just does not come in perfect package with step by step instructions. There are so many kinds of communication from verbal, body, emotional etc. Now what does communication mean for a marriage and for a family? How well do you think either system would function if members in the marriage or family do not know how to communicate with each other? What would happen in times of crisis? One thing that I have found is communication with my spouse can be difficult but it also brings me peace and makes me feel not lonely. Having to learn how to communicate with my wife has not been easy but it has been a step by step practice that we are both getting the hang of. We now know how we both best communicate in times of stress, happiness, sadness, anger etc.
Another form of communication that I found probably the most important is the communication skill of listening. Learning to listen communicates that you are loving and caring and that what someone has to say is important. Sometimes not saying anything at all is the best thing you can say to someone.
The whole point of this though is that communication does not come over night. Its a process and if you want to get better at it then you need to practice. With that practice you will learn how good you actually are at communicating and can be a great help to others around you who may struggle:)
Saturday, March 5, 2016
Dealing with Family Stress!
Hi Everyone!
Oh man I think any one person can write pages and pages on the stress of life and how much stress they have! I am no different. I could write pages and pages on all the different kinds of stress there are in my life right now.
There are so many kinds of stress in our life, from marriage, kids, school, work etc. But how are the best ways to cope with the stresses of life and is stress good for us? Coming from a family of many stressful events I have seen the situations that have made us stronger and I have seen the stresses that some of us did not deal with so positively. In my own experience I have found that when we cope with stress in a negative way we do not find as much appreciation for the lessons life has to offer. I believe there is a reason for everything in life. There is a lesson in everything. In my Family class we learned that stress is actually good for us. It helps us to push and be motivated. I also know that stress is not desired, its not sought out for and its not wished upon. But as part of life it happens.
Family life is probably one of the most stressful environments! There is always something to compete for or there is always something that will come up in life that will either pull us all together or put drifts between each member of the family. Just depends on how you want to deal with it. My parents raised us to not give up and to not let a stressful situation beat us down or win. So in life I have tried to look at each stressful experience as something that I can conquer and learn from. I have looked at them as something that once I have learned I can place in my toolbox of life and I will have something to draw upon if it happens again or if someone close to me struggles.
I am not perfect in handling my stress, sometimes I do not handle it well and I do not learn much from those times. I learn that I can do better and I try the next time and the next time. But I am grateful for the stress in my life because it keeps me motivated to be a better person for those who are in my life. After learning about the different kinds of coping methods I am excited to implement new ones in my life.
The Birds and the Bees
Hi everyone!
We had very interesting conversations in class last week about sexuality and how it is viewed as well as some of the worldly trends and or issues in involved with this specific topic.
I have been raised in a strong religious background and funny enough in our class discussions evidence showed that those teens who are more religious are less likely to engage in sexual relations prior to marriage. I was raised all my life knowing that sex was something meant for marriage. I give great thanks to my parents and their discretion as well as their concern in teaching me about the sacredness, blessings as well as the consequences in regards to sexuality.
I have strong feelings that if youth were taught about sex by their parents at an appropriate age or as early as they feel it is appropriate then chances are less likely for their to be promiscuous behavior. I knew growing up that it was a big deal and not something to mess around with if I didn't want to take very large chances in having my life spiral out of control. My parents did not raise me with the understanding that sex was horrible, they explained to me the intended purpose of it, and how much great maturity and commitment are important in this specific regards. Along with church leaders and other mentors I was grateful to have been taught that such a beautiful thing did not have to be feared but that it did need to be respected! And with respect especially towards my God, I believe in the sacredness of it and the love that is expressed between husband and wife. I know that we can make a great difference in the lives of our children if we just educate them and teach them from the beginning that this is something that needs to be respected and that the purpose of it comes from a very loving Father in Heaven. The world needs more people who will stand up for their belief in helping teens and adolescents stay abstinent!
We had very interesting conversations in class last week about sexuality and how it is viewed as well as some of the worldly trends and or issues in involved with this specific topic.
I have been raised in a strong religious background and funny enough in our class discussions evidence showed that those teens who are more religious are less likely to engage in sexual relations prior to marriage. I was raised all my life knowing that sex was something meant for marriage. I give great thanks to my parents and their discretion as well as their concern in teaching me about the sacredness, blessings as well as the consequences in regards to sexuality.
I have strong feelings that if youth were taught about sex by their parents at an appropriate age or as early as they feel it is appropriate then chances are less likely for their to be promiscuous behavior. I knew growing up that it was a big deal and not something to mess around with if I didn't want to take very large chances in having my life spiral out of control. My parents did not raise me with the understanding that sex was horrible, they explained to me the intended purpose of it, and how much great maturity and commitment are important in this specific regards. Along with church leaders and other mentors I was grateful to have been taught that such a beautiful thing did not have to be feared but that it did need to be respected! And with respect especially towards my God, I believe in the sacredness of it and the love that is expressed between husband and wife. I know that we can make a great difference in the lives of our children if we just educate them and teach them from the beginning that this is something that needs to be respected and that the purpose of it comes from a very loving Father in Heaven. The world needs more people who will stand up for their belief in helping teens and adolescents stay abstinent!
Saturday, February 20, 2016
Marriage: The Joining of Two Lives
Growing up, I knew I always wanted to be married. However I did not see the hardships and the teamwork of both my mom and my dad. In my eyes, they were just my parents who I knew loved me. I was too focuses on just the being their child. I do not remember conversations they had about how their marriage was going or how they felt they were leading the family because like I said, I was too busy playing on old Ronald Mcdonald's Childrens Play Place.
Now having been married, even though not for too long at all I have those conversations with my wife all the time. We will just be sitting at dinner together or we will go out for our date nights and we will have conversations on how we want to raise our family or things we would like to work on to make our marriage stronger. Marriage isn't just you get married, join two lives and there are no issues what so ever. It takes work. It take communication, love, compromise, understanding, compassion, empathy etc. Everyone word you can use to describe teamwork is how marriage is. Joining two lives and making one new life is a glorious thing! Its a hard thing, but a beautiful thing that you cant just say you did it and wont work on it.
I have thought recently that marriage is like planting a beautiful flower. Yes, this will get a little sappy. However the principle I think is very much applicable. Planting a flower takes a lot of work if you want to to thrive and be beautiful. You have to prep the soil, providing a good environment as well as conditions for planting it. You have to plant the seed in the soil and then after you do that you cannot just leave it to do its thing. Marriage takes careful nourishment and attention. You have to continue to water the flower and provide proper sunlight for growth. You have to pull weeds around the flower so that it will remain healthy, allowing it to thrive more beautifully. There is a lot of work if you plan to be serious in planting and maintaining a beautiful flower. Same goes for a marriage. There are lots of challenges and lots of wonderful memories that contribute to making the flower bloom. I love being married to my wife. It teaches me everyday ways in which I can become a better person. I would not trade it for anything because nothing even comes close to comparing.
Now having been married, even though not for too long at all I have those conversations with my wife all the time. We will just be sitting at dinner together or we will go out for our date nights and we will have conversations on how we want to raise our family or things we would like to work on to make our marriage stronger. Marriage isn't just you get married, join two lives and there are no issues what so ever. It takes work. It take communication, love, compromise, understanding, compassion, empathy etc. Everyone word you can use to describe teamwork is how marriage is. Joining two lives and making one new life is a glorious thing! Its a hard thing, but a beautiful thing that you cant just say you did it and wont work on it.
I have thought recently that marriage is like planting a beautiful flower. Yes, this will get a little sappy. However the principle I think is very much applicable. Planting a flower takes a lot of work if you want to to thrive and be beautiful. You have to prep the soil, providing a good environment as well as conditions for planting it. You have to plant the seed in the soil and then after you do that you cannot just leave it to do its thing. Marriage takes careful nourishment and attention. You have to continue to water the flower and provide proper sunlight for growth. You have to pull weeds around the flower so that it will remain healthy, allowing it to thrive more beautifully. There is a lot of work if you plan to be serious in planting and maintaining a beautiful flower. Same goes for a marriage. There are lots of challenges and lots of wonderful memories that contribute to making the flower bloom. I love being married to my wife. It teaches me everyday ways in which I can become a better person. I would not trade it for anything because nothing even comes close to comparing.
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